I’m on Linked In just like most people in the tech industry.If you’re like me, you probably get random messages through Linked In from technical recruiters several times a week.After a week, without receiving a single e-mail, I wondered what was wrong. Putting discussions about my desirability or lack thereof aside, what they and I failed to realize is that online dating is a very different experience for men and women.After all, they just signed up and immediately were getting 20 or more messages a day. Assuming that a man and a woman are roughly equally attractive and have the same personality, the woman will be contacted far more frequently than the man.Fair or not, this is frequently set up as women being the supply and the men being the demand.This plays out in real life just as much as an online dating where women get into clubs for free and men have to pay.In fact, I’ve heard numerous times from female friends that the day they sign up their inbox is flooded with messages.And no matter how many times I’ve tried online dating (handful over the past decade), I can go months without receiving a single message. The problem is that there is little incentive for women to search for and communicate with men. Surely there is someone worthwhile in the dozens of e-mails waiting in their inbox.
Additionally, once you do decide to contact women, your message is just one of the dozens that they’re going to see.
We are working on emerging technologies for our next generation products at [redacted]. Amazing offices, super smart people and financially well funded. There is absolutely nothing about the message that is specific to me, my skills, or my experience.
Here’s another: Nicholas C., I was reading through your background and I wanted to get in touch.
I had been encouraged by a couple of my female friends to sign up and they virtually guaranteed I would be going out on dates immediately.
So I filled out my profile and sat back and waited for the e-mails to start flowing in.
Men want to go where the women are and so getting the women there first is important.