The internet age taught the nerdy kid who was picked on at school that the world was theirs for the taking. Women, who retained an untamed sense of mystery, didn’t fit the matrix.So this community turned the opposite sex into a logical problem which could be solved.The systematisation of this natural interaction, however, turns it into a manipulative deception. The first are the proper pick-up artists featured in , who use neuro-linguistic and other more serious tricks, a sort of mind-control for seduction, which is creepy because it undermines female agency of choice and control – but also because it appears, at least superficially, to work.“I suppose I would like to think I am an individual,” says Rebecca, who fell for the pick-up artist, “but it turns out in emotional terms I'm depressingly predictable.” The second are those like Dan, who sees himself as using his extant charm as a basis, and simply spicing it up with a few tricks here and there. Here are a few lines that women I interview have had used on them. It offers more stock lines, like “I like that outfit you’ve got on, but your shoes don’t really match.” “Your nose is a little red. “Your roots are showing,” he says again, gesturing weakly at her hair. Those two lines in the opening scenario are both real approaches recommended by seductionscience.com, one of a massive range of websites giving advice on this and other pick-up techniques. ” “If your face was as good as your legs I'd have to marry you.” “Nice eyes – even though one is bigger than the other.” “How brave of you to wear an outfit like that,” and even: “You have a great body. ” (The last interviewee adds that she was, at the time, bulimic.) A day spent browsing – which is full of pleasant little tidbits like: “all women will turn into whores and gang-bang the whole football team if you can bring down her anti-slut defense” – is not a happy day.These men went online and started comparing notes and running experiments.They stole aspects of neuro-linguistic programming, evolutionary psychology, and some of the techniques of the salesman – the “close”, and so on. They wrote field reports detailing what worked, and what didn't. I put out an appeal online to look for someone who had successfully used negging and would be willing to defend it, and get an immediate response from Dan. “I like to think of it like currency: every insult increases the value of my compliment stock - which I then choose to spent wisely at maximum value and the most opportune moment for maximum effect to make my acquisition.” There it is: “acquisition”. Talk of “targets”, “acquisitions”, “sets” and so on put my teeth on edge.
Those are the ones who are making fools of themselves in bars, with clumsy attempts at negs.
He is not a classic lothario, nor is he classically cool. For an average girl (6s, 7s), you don’t want to use value zingers.
You’re like an Eskimo.” It explains: “Negging women is ideal for really hot girls – 8s, 9s, and 10s.
“Anyway, at his house I found he had a spreadsheet of all the women he was seeing, colour coded with days and nights.
Do I think he was using those techniques sociopathically, instead of natural charm? I think he was terrified of having a typical relationship, and he had set lines so he didn't have to risk actual intimacy.” "Negging" and the pick-up artist was born on internet message-boards in the early '90s, and became a vast subculture, with varying strategies and tribes.
Someone appears to have given an implicit promise: verbal negativity means sexual success.