It's important for couples to make that effort."That's why Kerner sometimes tells couples to indulge in 10 to 15 minutes of what he calls "arousal generation" two or three times a week. "It at least creates an environment where arousal can potentially flourish," says Kerner.So doing anything that will turn you both on and make you feel close, but not thinking of it as something that needs to lead to sex. This is especially important because for many women in long-term relationships, desire follows physical arousal instead of just happening spontaneously.And when it comes to the sex itself, Kerner suggests thinking about satisfaction rather than how much of it you're having."[Consider] whether it’s imaginative and exciting, new versus familiar, orgasmic and mutually pleasurable...metrics other than quantity that really come into play," says Kerner.First of all, this is correlation, not causation—the study authors can't say whether having more sex made people happier or whether people had more sex because they were happier to begin with.But also, they're studies, not universal commandments everyone must follow for a strong relationship."It’s hard, because I appreciate [these studies].After studying over 30,000 people, the researchers found that couples had sex around once a week on average, and what's more, having sex that often was linked to an increase in happiness compared to having it less often.But interestingly enough, the study found no increase in happiness when people had sex more than once a week. The study, which analyzed over 15,000 people, found that people who had sex two to three times a week were happier than those who had it once a week, and so on down the line.
Simple adjustments to my online dating profiles opened the gate for messages from couples—and a rush of options.She recommends viewing sex as something that starts outside the bedroom and connecting in other ways to "keep the embers burning in a sense." That method of connecting will likely make you both want sex more often."It's like the law of physics that something in motion stays in motion," says Fleming.But what's good for some couples is not right for every couple," sex therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist Ian Kerner, Ph. "For some couples, once a week is too much depending on where they are in life, and for others it's really not enough."He's not the only expert who advises against holding yourself up to pretty arbitrary standards."It's a common question—what frequency is normal?
He was sweet and inquisitive, and she was funny and a little shy.