In the Netherlands, where gay marriage has been legal since 2001, gay men remain three times more likely to suffer from a mood disorder than straight men, and 10 times more likely to engage in “suicidal self-harm.” In Sweden, which has had civil unions since 1995 and full marriage since 2009, men married to men have triple the suicide rate of men married to women.
All of these unbearable statistics lead to the same conclusion: It is still dangerously alienating to go through life as a man attracted to other men.
The first time we met, three years ago, he asked me if I knew a good place to do Cross Fit.
Today, when I ask him how the hospital’s been so far, the first thing he says is that there’s no Wi-Fi, he’s way behind on work emails.
For years I’ve noticed the divergence between my straight friends and my gay friends.
While one half of my social circle has disappeared into relationships, kids and suburbs, the other has struggled through isolation and anxiety, hard drugs and risky sex.
’ So I would dial out to get some meth delivered and check the Internet to see if there were any parties happening.
There’s Jared, whose depression and body dysmorphia have steadily shrunk his social life down to me, the gym and Internet hookups.
In a survey of gay men who recently arrived in New York City, suffered from anxiety or depression, abused drugs or alcohol or were having risky sex—or some combination of the three.
Despite all the talk of our “chosen families,” gay men have fewer close friends than straight people or gay women.
I’m a perpetually single gay guy who was raised in a bright blue city by PFLAG parents.
I’ve never known anyone who died of AIDS, I’ve never experienced direct discrimination and I came out of the closet into a world where marriage, a picket fence and a golden retriever were not just feasible, but expected.
“The drugs were a combination of boredom and loneliness,” he says.