I think about what my relationship is, and sometimes I also think about how it may look. Will they think I’m trying to attain whiteness and white children?[Nothing could be further from the truth; I actually wonder/worry a lot about my kids over-identifying with their non-Asian heritage, because it would be They’re already getting plenty of not-at-all-subtle societal messages about whose culture matters most.] Will they just dismiss me as a banana?Because even if it doesn’t happen every day, it’s become a As long as I’ve been writing online, I’ve had trolls.Recently I participated in the #whitewashed OUT hashtag, as many of us did, and this was the [incredibly mild!being totally turned off to the idea of dating outside his race.
Of course I don’t like thinking about my marriage, the central relationship of my life, as a stereotype — but at the same time, I’m not oblivious to how the world works.
I’ve been called a mutt plenty of times by white people, and by Asian people, too.
White supremacists have obviously been on the whole “fear of white genocide” thing forever and using interracial marriages as evidence that it’s happening.
Then you throw in the ideas some have about blood and “cultural purity” and it comes out as one steaming pile of shit.
Every time I get a horrible comment or tweet or email from a fellow Asian American accusing me of being a slut, a white man’s property, or calling me or my kids names — I just think, man, THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS. (I also just DO NOT GET IT, frankly — I’ve found and find so many Asian men attractive.) But it’s horrible that these few men feel so entitled to any individual woman or group of women.
Like my daughters (as you know, I do not currently have a son). trying to speak to or about an entire group here — just the handful of bored, unfortunate jerks choosing to harass me and other Asian women who have non-Asian partners.