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” To which the response was, “pressure point massage.” The inquisitive chap on the other side of the curtain pressed on. ” the voice of the staff member was now getting louder, “we do normal massage.” The English voice pressed on and finally got to the point, “what about a happy ending?

” At which point the response was “you dirty man, you get out now!

The previously charming Dutchmen then breaks out into a cold sweat and looks at the bill, at you, at the bill, then at you again, and there is a silence so deep that you can hear the female mice in the cafe coughing. Do not under any circumstances expect him to pay your part of the bill.

This is indeed a deadly mistake, if you are hoping to see your Dutch lion again, be a good antelope and suggest quickly that you’ll split the bill.

When out with a Dutch man on a first date, you could be having a lovely evening.

He may even have made an attempt at flirting, romance is in the air, everything is looking promising until……….., the bill arrives.

If you really want to make him feel comfortable, wash your hair prior to the date and don’t bother drying it, this drives the Dutch male crazy with passion.

Would like to thank all of the ladies that were kind enough to share your tales of dating woe with me.

The antelope calls the shots and the Lion simply needs to drink his biertjes and wait to be hunted.Dutch women are, in the opinion of the shallow man, the most predatory women on planet earth.The Dutch female selects the man she is interested in with the precision of a special forces sniper, aiming at a target.I say this simply because, Dutch women, in spite of often dressing as if the Netherlands has a permanent power outage, and they can only choose what to wear in the dark, are amongst the most beautiful women that you’ll see anywhere in the world.That in itself would be reason enough for every Dutch male to get down on their hands and knees and thank God, Buddha or Allah that they are lucky enough to be born here, but they have an even better reason to be blissfully happy.

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The shallow man advises that on the day of the date, that you put your TV on Nederland een, between 7 and 9 and watch Vandaag de Dag.

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