I can tell you from a guy’s perspective that when a woman says things like: “Why didn’t you call? Those kinds of statements will immediately put a guy on the defensive rather than motivating him to change and he’ll probably withdraw emotionally as a result… I would say the core reason of this is that it attacks a guy’s sense of freedom and feeling of acknowledgment. Well, when a woman starts down this chain of “Why didn’t you…” it feels to a guy as if she isn’t noticing all of the other things he is doing for a relationship. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to want a relationship with all the good qualities: connection, chemistry, understanding, intimacy, attentiveness and on and on.I can’t go into as much depth as I’d like to in this post, but men and women have different senses of how they’d like to be noticed for things (and what they’d like to be noticed for.) At the root of it, when a man feels like he make a woman happy, he will not want to be in a relationship with her (or if he stays, he will not want to deepen it). Back to neediness: When a woman starts acting needy, especially in the beginning of a relationship, it shows up as the ultimate red flag. Neediness is synonymous with ’emotional dependency’, as in: “This woman is dependent on the guy in order for her to feel good.” Now, sometimes when I start explaining this, I’ll get a comment saying, “Oh so what? You can have it all, too, but what I’m trying to explain in this article is that you don’t get it from it.These poor decisions are just foisted on their members in a haphazard and arbitrary way.When I write dating tips and relationship advice for a new mode, I am writing to a female audience.How exactly do you go from dating someone casually to having a serious relationship with them? What qualities made you want to get serious with your date? Being self-aware of how others perceive you is a huge advantage in dating and relationships. To make yourself a better partner, think about your past relationships.If you’re struggling with this, here’s a short list to help you go from a casual date to a serious mate (so lame, I know).
The problem with neediness is that instead of inspiring all of those positive relationship qualities, the “needy person” acts as if their partner is denying them those good relationship qualities…
It’s true that being overly available can seem desperate or unattractive, but the last thing you want to do is play dating games.
If you’re suffering from no-life syndrome, step back and ask yourself why you aren’t having fun on your own. Play the sport you like or pursue one of your interests. Insecure people push for serious relationships for the security it brings, and people can sense that.
But neediness is not gender-specific – guys make the mistake of being “needy” too!
So I want you to know that I am putting this out there to help and inspire everyone to have more dating success, to point fingers. ” and pretty much any sentence that begins with ‘why didn’t you,’ it’s like nails on a chalkboard.