“He can’t say you’re desperate, because the app made you do it,” she says, adding that she tells her friends to make the first move and just “blame Bumble.” Matches expire after 24 hours, which provides an incentive for women to reach out before it’s too late (the women-message-first feature is only designed for straight couples—if you’re LGBTQ, either party can send the first message.) Wolfe says she had always been comfortable making the first move, even though she felt the stigma around being too forward.
One of Wolfe’s major contributions to Tinder was her ability to get college students to download the app.“It’s easier as a guy, you’re swiping and then just letting the girls take the next step.” Plus, he adds, “the women are so impressive.” Wolfe pulls out her cell phone, which is hot pink with a bright yellow bumble-bee decal on the back, and shows me a guy she matched with in Costa Rica, of all places. Photo Courtesy of Big Stock Photos You're ready for a committed relationship, maybe marriage. He's everything you've always wanted in a partner: kind, loyal, sexy and smart. Find out how long your guy has been divorced and how he feels about it.But there’s one essential difference: on Bumble, only women can send a message first.For Wolfe, 25, that key difference is about “changing the landscape” of online dating by putting women in control of the experience.
Men post pictures of themselves wearing button downs (not muscle tees) or hugging their moms (not endangered species.) And because they can’t message first, guys can’t hedge their bets by swiping right on every girl they see and messaging all of them to see who bites.