"Maybe you're both free to spend what you want up to a certain amount or from a specific account, and beyond that you must consult your partner," she says.
While you shouldn't waste energy on money spent or saved in the past, make a rule for the future, advises Puhn.
"You're not getting what you need, but he thinks he's being the perfect husband by providing," says Bowman. He'll hear "you don't respect what I'm doing or how hard I'm working," explains Lombardo.
Instead, emphasize that you miss him and come up with ways to spend more time together, she suggests.
Michelle confronted him about the behavior, and they both acknowledged that he was struggling with separating his intense business trips from laid-back getaways.
"Now I remind him to make a mental change from work travel mode to fun vacation mode when we take family trips," says Michelle.
In reality, though, some spouses need a nudge."The fight: "You need to see a doctor."Jenny of Powder Springs, GA, grew tired of her husband's complaints about headaches and arm numbness because he refused to visit a doctor. "People often ignore health concerns because they don't know what to do if they get bad news.