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Every new station is like a rush of brightness as their lonely office whizzes out of the pitch-black again.Both trespassers and people attempting suicide are referred to using this term, for fear of upsetting people.And, unbelievably or not, parents quite frequently make requests for their offspring to have a go in the cabin as a birthday treat.According to our inside source, this wish has been known to be granted.Books titled "Secrets of the Underground" feature in many tourist bookshops - but how many tell you what "person on the tracks" really means?And, is there any point running for the last train?If it really upsets you not to know which, for some reason, you can apparently have a quiet chat with staff afterwards to find out.

(If it doesn’t have a tube station, is it even a real place?

In the early, messy, privatised rush of individual railways charging into London, each company had its own London terminus: hence the mess of King’s Cross, Victoria, Paddington, Waterloo, London Bridge, and so on.

All of them would happily have charged further into Central London to build some giant London Hauptbahnhof, but that would have firstly involved them getting on with each other, which they didn’t.

Look at the scuff marks on the yellow line, says our driver.

They will tell you where to wait alongside other impatient commuters. Despite the Tube holding endless nightmarish fears for many children, others are desperate to get behind the wheel.

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With the very important caveat that you must already be through the barriers before the scheduled departure time, your underground journey home is a sealed deal. But the Central is worst for overcrowding as a result, apparently.

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