Ever.’ There was: ‘I’d never go out with a woman who describes herself as independent or ambitious.’Even a male friend said: ‘You are going to need to lose some weight, wear red and grow your hair if you want the silver foxes to see you.’ But I wasn’t interested in a man who wanted to know my vital statistics before meeting, so rejection by those people didn’t hurt at all.
There were also friendly lunchtime coffees, after which the mutual decision was that one date was enough, but not many of those. I had coffee with another man whose profile picture was so out of date I didn’t recognise him.
I came across more than one case in which the main reason for their divorce seemed to be that their wife had made the mistake of ageing.
I had whole Sundays in my pyjamas, trawling one site after another determined to find someone kind-looking and interesting to talk to.
There’s no point in improving your photos with filters or using ones a decade old.
The man for you will see past your love handles and greying hair.
Everyone loves country walks, a DVD and a bottle of wine, and that’s all some people say.
There was: ‘Not wanting to sound ungallant but there are lots of pretty girls here.’ There was: ‘I had a look at your pictures and I’m not going to do that again.
Take the hint if he says how great it was to meet you, then drives off and disappears. There was Jim, who delayed our date so he could squeeze in another first.There’s nothing wrong with being a radiant spinster, too busy with her fulfilling life to miss having a partner, but it just wasn’t what I wanted.I tried meeting someone in real life, as my mother suggested.I avoided people who talked about sex in their profile or used corny pick-up lines or asserted their dominance, with long lists of what their woman should look like, and I steered clear of the ones entirely focused on themselves (‘she should find me funny, and put up with my being untidy, and she should be an asset on my arm’).I was attracted to men who were sturdy and looked as if they’d lived life, who enjoyed their jobs, who were greying and had a bit of world-weariness about them. Good-looking middle-aged men can have high expectations of the woman they want.
He’d been persuaded to consider reuniting with his wife and was sorry to have wasted my time.