Prospective mates generally have the power to accept or reject the choices made for them. Within this relationship, bride-givers are considered inferior to bride-takers and are forever expected to give gifts to the bride-takers.The one-way flow of gifts begins at engagement and continues for a generation or two.Some young people convince their parents to "arrange" their marriages to people with whom they have fallen in love. Nayar wrote in the Encyclopedia of Sexuality: “Although the tradition of arranged marriages has a practical value in preserving family traditions and values, it encounters some opposition as young Indian men and women learn of the Western tradition of romance and love. Most Indian men and women attending college outside India are careful not to compromise their prospects back home by letting their family or parents know they have dated a foreigner. Caste, income levels, education and astrology are all taken into consideration. Indians believe mismatched stars can cause a lifetime of trouble.[Source: Library of Congress] The days when arranged marriages involved parents decreeing who would marry whom and then haggling over the dowry are largely gone among the middle class. In much of India, especially in the north, a marriage establishes a structural opposition between the kin groups of the bride and groom--bride-givers and bride-takers.At the same time although love marriages are more common that they once were, young couples make sure their unions fall within the bounds of caste and religious propriety. " Same people see a good-looking but dark guy: "We don't want a black son in law".
This process has long been possible for Indians from the south and for Muslims who want to marry a particular cousin of the appropriate marriageable category.Once a couple decided that they wanted to get married they were not allowed to date or meet each other between the engagement and the wedding day.Even today romance plays little part in selecting a mate, many young people say they are opposed to courtship and they trust their parent’s judgment rather than their own when it comes to selecting a mate.Tejasvita Apte wrote in Quora.com: “ Arranged marriages in India are like family approved / arranged dating.You search for profiles through marriage bureaus or websites and you select a person based on your likes and interests, much like how dating works in other countries.