There are many instances where this isn't the case, of course, but it is currently a reality for me.This is a reality for another group as well—Asian men are also less likely to be married than their female counterparts. That we continue to aspire to marriage—an institution invented purely for financial purposesand look at people who are not married as if they have some sort of stain on their character is the real problem.In short, the main thing that I wanted to say is that there is no reason for Black women to hesitate dating Asian men any more than they would anyone else.While I can see some potential obstacles which could prove to be problematic such as issues of colorism, the desire to maintain cultural traditions by dating within one’s own ethnic group, etc., if we interrogate the underlying reasons for their existence, it becomes increasingly evident that none are necessarily specific to the Asian American community and should therefore in no way discourage Black American women from considering Asian men as potential partners.I am a 32 year old Korean American man who was adopted from South Korea when I was nine months old.
He is the star of Model Files, a casting director, comedian, and self-professed "dick with opinions." He and I chatted about this subject over lunch.
Moreover, I have dated both intra- and inter-racially (with Black women among others) and was most recently in a 3 year relationship with a Black American woman (who self-identified as such).
While my lack of Asian family ties/parentage may make me seem like a less-than-ideal candidate to respond to your initial question, I think that it is for that very reason that my insight may prove to be of value.
In her work, “Imperial Citizens: Koreans and Race from Seoul to LA” sociologist, Nadia Kim, explores the real or imagined racial tension between Korean and Black Americans in L. Rather than abide by the commonly held belief that conflict may stem from actual differences in culture (between members of the respective groups), she instead illustrates how some Koreans are actually influenced by the US mass media to view Black Americans negatively prior to their arrival in this country.
I use this example not because I am trying to argue that Koreans or other Asians are in no way prejudiced all by themselves and that those biased ways of seeing things may impede an otherwise decent romantic relationship; rather, I am merely trying to illustrate a degree of complexity to this issue which I feel is oftentimes overlooked.
The other major concern which I sometimes hear for why Black American and other women may hesitate to consider Asian men as potential partners is that they fear that Asian men are bound by culture, particularly in the form of filial piety.