Some other good news: Friendships that get damaged during a pregnancy do tend to self-repair ."You need time to work through these feelings and find ways to renegotiate the friendship," she adds.Hello, ultrasounds and sleep-deprived zombie-mom on diaper duty.The first time a friend got pregnant, I felt as though she were abandoning our girl code and way of life — hanging out late, drinking dirty martinis, and living a little dangerously — without my vote. "When my friend got pregnant, I felt so betrayed," confesses Madi R., 27, from Boston."When a baby disrupts the friendship as you know it, it can feel like the pregnant friend compromised everything without your consent," says Lisa Brateman, a relationship therapist in New York City, who confirms you're not an insensitive garbage person for feeling this way.
It might sound horrible and selfish, but this happy time for her may be a hard one for you. Good-bye, Bloody Mary brunches and impromptu after-work socializing.
Maybe you want what she has — a husband and baby on the way.
Or maybe that life is not for you and you're just coming to terms with that.
"Suddenly, she was always tired and not drinking…and we always had a glass of wine to unwind after work.
Without that ritual, I felt off balance." Brateman says the drinking-for-one component throws salt on an already stinging wound. This is another layer of loss in the friendship and your view of the quality of your time together," she says.
Whether you want kids, have kids, or hate kids, it's good for your friendship — and yourself — to consider the situation from your pregnant friend's point of view.